| Privacy Policy C'mon ni is you trickin or what? "Go piss up a rope." She's purtier than a mess of fried catfish. Why did priests heal wounds before doctors? Good God! "dumber than a June bug on a string" "Useless as a pocketful of paper assholes." Shes wound up tighter than the girdle of a Baptist ministers wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast. Log in. I wish I had appreciated my youth - I should have worn tighter clothing when I could have! Hes so stupid, he couldnt find his ass with both hands. . Sometimes it's best to watch others perform the joke. Its cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table. She's pitching a hissy fit. Vagina jokes are not funny. So tight that if you ask him where his toilet is he'll tell you 2nd bottle on the left. The wounds were caused by foreign bodies. Its hotter than a billygoat with a blowtorch. You think the last words to The Star Spangled Banner are Gentlemen, start your engines.. Wound Up Cartoon #14 Save 'Aw, don't mind me - I'm just a little wound up right now.' Tim Cordell tension wound up stress stressed key nervous anxious anxiety anger anger management colleagues overworked too much pressure deadlines workplace work works worker workers working employee employees clockwork going postal angry riled upset Jackpot! "cuter than a speckled pup" These puns are a timely solution to anyone starting to dadjoke. There is no sley used in this, nor is a shuttle necessary; in the room of the latter a stick covered with thread called singa is thrown into the warp as woof, which is beaten in by a piece of plank called beyno, and as the cloth is woven it is wound up to the roller. Related Topics Broken Heart Heartache Healing Being Hurt Greed Habit Guilt Love Pain Being Hurt Medicine Cure Complicated Love Friendship Bad Friends Buddhism Evil Zodiac Revenge Show more QUOTES "Runnin' around like a chicken with its head cut off." Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain. "It takes a big boy to whip a little man" Expectation is the mother of all frustration. Antonio Banderas. Like its Facebook page: If You Love Oxford and Ole Miss. She had made a list of questions, but after asking half of them, she wound up setting them aside and letting instinct guide her. My dad, Jack Cunningham, was born and raised there, and he helped me with this project in the year preceding his death on May 7, 2000. They lived so far out in the country that the sun set between their house and town. Darynda Jones On average, everyone has read The Da Vinci Code. Note: Tick and flea dirt is feces, which appears on your pet in small, dark clumps. Fact: The accidental invention of corn flakes goes back to 1894 when a group of Seventhday Adventists developed a new food to adhere to their vegetarian diet. 7 of them in fact. "face as red as a jaybird's ass in pokeberry time" No higher than corn and no lower than taters. "faster than a striped-ass jaybird" "It's let me go. The life of a nurse.hahahahaha!!!! you have ever spray-painted your girlfriends name on an overpass. Youve ever been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. "Colder than a well-digger's feet in Alaska" Hes about as useful as a pogo stick in quicksand. "took off like a cat hit in the ass with a boot jack" Lets make like a turd and hit the trail. Country Contradictions, Hillbilly Humor, Silly Sayings and lots of other stuff I have said, will say or have heard someone else say. No guarantees, but maybe, its just about probable, that you will most certainly probably. Wife: Sing a song. Darlin.Youre hotter than donut grease at a fat man convention. She chose "Tailor Made" and the two wound up engaged. Note: Why do farts smell? 4 other terms for tightly wound- words and phrases with similar meaning. Note: The phrase is attributed to Flannery OConnor. Granny cooked enough supper to feed Pharoahs Army. Fact: Mules have denser muscling than horses due to their donkey parent and therefore can carry more and go farther than a horse of the same size. Your mothers so stupid, she thinks cheerios are donut seeds! Note: It turns out that banana skins are, indeed, very slippery. Fact: Dharavi slums, Mumbai, India is 770,000 people per square mile, and the most densely populated place on earth. He's one of these type A personality guys who's always wound up tighter than a springwears whatever face suits the crowd. Holy cow! Redneck Stomp Jokes:you might be a redneck if your lady can do it faster than you and more. Fact: Blackberry tea was a cure for dysentery during the Civil War; during outbreaks, temporary truces were declared to allow soldiers to go blackberrying.. "like shit through a goose" - meaning fast Life with the Yorkshiremen always carried menacing undertones and Everton were on a short fuse, fully wound up and all ready to go. That would be a tall drink of water. Watch for another government funding study on why anyone would want to. Im wound up tighter then a . Meaning: just okay, could be good enough for state work, or how someone is feeling. Synonyms for Tightly wound. "Crazy as a shithouse mouse" Baryshinkov wound up finding a home with ABT, while Nureyev moved between the Royal Ballet in London and the Paris Opera Ballet. Meaning: Ostentatious, showy and a bit too flashily dressed. He did not fare nearly as well on that season as he did during his first season, as he gave away an immunity idol and wound up voted off. "stiffer than a wedding dick" Fact: Your eye is about the size of a gum ball, and the lens the size of an M&M. UM Alum On The Bachelorette: Team Wells or Team Nick? He passed in 2004. Walk the streets for money you don't care if it's wrong or if it's right" "So full of shit his eyes are brown" Linda Cunningham Fluharty "Workin harder than a funeral home fan in July" ", "So skinny they have to stand up twice to make a shadow. Note: A great gray owl can hear a mouse peeing on cotton 60 feet away. Note: Why roosters seem to love to crow anytime, including mornings, isnt fully understood. Holy shit! "Now I know my destiny. Follow HottyToddy.com on Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat @hottytoddynews. You have every episode of Hee-Haw on tape. "Thank you," Tamani whispered, almost too quiet to be heard. Wound licking: Wound licking is an instinctive response in humans and many other animals to lick an injury. Aint no point in beatin a dead horsecourse, cant hurt none either. He was drunker than Cooter Brown on the 4th of july. Her ass was so big, it looked like two Buicks fighting for a parking place. Me: "Who and the Police?" Note: The houndstooth fabric is a duotone textile pattern made famous by Bear Bryant. When you feel like giving up, hold on tighter and push through it. The hood and one door are a different color from the rest of your car. You think possum is The Other White Meat. The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why. Mark Twain. Tighter than a camels arse in a sandstorm. Shes so ugly when she was a baby her mom fed her with a slingshot, Thats harder than a choir boy in a porn shop. "so drunk he couldn't find his ass with both hands" You think Taco Bell is the Mexican phone book. "busier than a one-legged man in an ass kickin contest" Meaning: This phrase is used when somebody is up to no good and trying to hide it. Five gallons of shit in a 2 gallon bucket. Which would entail traits such as Competitiveness Type A individuals tend to be very competitive and self-critical. Cooler than the other side of the pillow. ~Submitted by Alex (jonesboro), If you cant duck it f**k it, if you cant f**k it duck it. Zack showed up wearing a light pink shirt that was tighter than usual." - Kyle Adams Luckily, my wounds were only super fish oil. The higher the terms are in the list, the more likely that they're relevant to the word or phrase that you searched for. tight as a drum (as) tight as a drum 1. "Uglier than the east end of a horse headed west." "Can't find his ass with both hands" "Shit or get off the pot." "Two ax handles wide across the ass"or for REALLY wide, "2 ax handles and a rain barrel" "Uglier than the east end of a horse headed west. Busier than a cat covering up shit on a concrete floor. Yesterday someone hit me with a bottle of Omega-3 pills. Dissolved in wine, it would make the muscles of a man's throat clench tighter than any fist, shutting off his windpipe. It will always get better. You have spent more on your pickup truck than on your education. Madder than a pack of wild dogs on a three legged cat. I am as nervous as a long tail cat in a room full of rocking chairs, She was so ugly she could trick or treat over the telephone. Fact: The orange juice company Tropicana created what looks like a sun in the middle of the night in a small Arctic town in Inuvik, Canada. I'll be damned! Im so hungry, Id eat the balls off a low flying duck! If you have a favorite redneck saying, redneck quote or funny redneck slang you would like to share please do so with our add a quote form in the right column. 189 matching entries found. Later criticism, orthodox and heterodox, upon the English deists inclines to charge them with the conception of a divine absentee, who wound up the machine of nature and left it to run untended. Note: Goats glass eye refers to those used in taxidermy. She was . Note: Say what you want about deaf people. And if any mischief follow, then thou shalt give life for life, Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, hand for hand, foot for foot, Burning for burning, wound for wound, stripe for stripe. Holy ravioli! Rather than: Screamed like an 8th lived mashed cat. ~ Submitted by Dave (AK), you might be a redneck if your idea of base in music is what you set your beer on. You keep a can of RAID on the kitchen table. Note: The phrase first appears in English in the Geneva Bible, 1560, in Job 19:20, which provides a literal translation of the original Hebrew: I haue escaped with the skinne of my tethe. (sic). I'm tighter than face lifts and flyer than spaceships. Note: the term Pea turkey is a southernism meaning nothing or zero. He was so fat it was easier to go over top of him than around him. Jeez Louise! Shes so clumsy she could trip over a cordless phone! Well butter my butt and call me a biscuit! Southern Sayings About Bad Character They said a victim's face turned as purple as the little crystal seed from which his death was grown, but so too did a man choking on a morsel of food. Why anyone would waste whiskey on a cat is beyond me. Wound tighter than a two dollar watch A very high degree of stress. Because those men are already taken. My wife hit me on the head with a bottle of Concentrated Omega-3 capsules this morning. Hes so thinskinned, its just barely enough to keep him from bleeding to death. Custom and user added quotes with pictures. Most Important questions and their answers. You couldnt hit the broad side of a barn with a handfull of rice! ~Submitted by Dylan Barney (Brushton, NY), he wuz so skeerd he shit spagetti for a week. "dumber (or crazier) than a shit house rat" Holy moly! Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his lap. Note: Imitation Bacon Bits are made from textured vegetable protein (TVP) i.e. Explaining the basics of DNA and Genetics Human DNA contains 3 billion nucleotides and is wound up into a tight double helix spiral. She's pitching a hissy fit with a tail on it. Jiminy cricket! A woman with lipstick - "looks like a jaybird's ass in pokeberry time." Me: "Roooooxanne, you don't have to wear that dress tonight, He tells the mechanic, "hey, I just brought in my car last week, and since you guys worked on it, it's leaking oil all over my garage. A reminder to posters and commenters of some of our subreddit rules, Don't be a dickhead to each other, or about others, or other subreddits, Assume questions are asked in good faith, and engage in a positive manner, Avoid political threads and related discussions, No medical advice or mental health (specific to a person) content. Hes so country he thinks a seven-course meal is a possum and a sixpack. What do you say when someone wants to stitch their own wound? So tight that when you ring on his door his missus has to shout ding dong. The average coefficient of friction of a banana on linoleum was 0.066. Traveling is like flirting with life. Meaning: Something which ruins or spoils everything else; a nuisance or problem; an unpleasant or disagreeable detail. They have a stew already done, so they just need to mix up biscuits and set the table." Didnt last long though. wound them off; wound them on; wound them onto; wound them round my finger; wound them round my little finger; wound them round your finger; wound them round your little finger; wound them up into; wound them up into something; wound these off; wound those around; wound those off; wound those on; wound those onto; wound through; wound tight . Fact: Bread has been used since the 17th century to clean the frescoes on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel, Wonder Bread proved to be an especially effective sponge in the restoration of Michelangelos masterpiece. The wages weren't all that great, but deducting rent, utilities and groceries from her present salary, it wound up being a good deal more. Our goal is to help you by delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, love and happiness to your everyday life. While a good number of folks prefer to I'll be dipped in bacon fat! Sure, one could live on bread and water too, but in the South there is no need. "up Shit Creek without a paddle" "Up & down like a whore's drawers" (refers to a nervous person, up & down) They come to the fence that they first made love up against. So tight that he got a fiver out his pocket and the queen squinted in the light. "Two ax handles wide across the ass"or for REALLY wide, "2 ax handles and a rain barrel" The basic association of the words 'tight' and 'ar$ed' dates back a hundred years. The next thing you know, you are getting upset over every little thing, and you are so wound up that you aren't able to control your reaction to stress. Follow us (@HottyToddyNews) for the latest coverage. Write the best story you can. "don't have one penny to rub against another one" You know what they say, Margaret. The tragic aftermath: 9 wounded, 15 decreased. Please keep r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. And why are you eating that giant bowl of herbs? 3. You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. Nuttier than a port-a-potty at a peanut festival. Work is more fun than fun. Noel Coward, Note: From the mid1800. Meaning: The edge of the world, look out youre going to fall off, far. Note: This town would have to be no closer than on the moon. Libba Bray, Clay caught her hand as she reached for his arm and held it tight. Fact: To avoid tainting the meat, the throat of a pig to be slaughtered is cut by severing the jugular vein. While these "sayings" are said in all parts of the country, I believe they originated in the populations of the early pioneers the country people. Due to the way the algorithm works, the thesaurus gives you mostly related slang words, rather than exact synonyms. "like a fish out of water" ", "Slipperier than snot on a glass doorknob", "Raining like an old cow pissing on a flat rock", "Colder than a well-digger's feet in Alaska", "Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra", "Rattling on (talking) like the clapper on a goose's ass". From the phrase, Like trying to skin a live cat.. All Rights Reserved. 4. That girls jeans are tight enough to see Lincoln smiling on the penny in her pocket. Youve ever hit a deer with your cardeliberately. Would you hold on to me tighter as the summer sun got higher? The people, whose enthusiasm was now wound up to the highest pitch, again made the air resound with their loudest acclamations. ." "so ugly you have to hang a pork chop around her neck to get the dog to play with her" Leisa Rayven, It had seemed like a good idea at the time, a sure-fire way to impress this girl, who was as cute as hell but wound tighter than one of his father's antique clocks. Shes purtier than a mess of fried catfish. Response 1 of 2: And after lunchtime. Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general. Get Your Laugh on with these funny redneck sayings: He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. Tim Heaton is an Ole Miss Alumnus from Southaven, Mississippi who supports The Flagship in a variety of public relations efforts. "as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs" Im prouder of that than a pup with his first flea. Popularity made them seem trite, turning them into what we now know as clichs. Note: The houndstooth fabric is a duotone textile pattern made famous by Bear Bryant. Every other wound we seek to heal - every other affliction to forget: but this wound we consider it a duty to keep open - this affliction we cherish and brood over in solitude. Your CB antenna is a danger to low-flying planes. Wife: sideways look Note: The ivorybilled woodpecker is one of the largest woodpeckers in the world. the rest will fall into place. Your school fight song was Dueling Banjos. That boy was shaking like a dog shittin hammer handles. Boy you got about as much sense as god gave a goose. A set goes for around $2,400. The next thing you know, you are getting upset over every little thing, and you are so wound up that you aren't able to control your reaction to stress. Hes scratched up worse than a blind berry picker. Its hotter than two hamsters fucking in a wool sock in the summer time. Hornier than a two peckered billy goat. Decided on a career change, from the kitchen to medicine. Author: Roseanne Barr. While crude, vulgar, and possibly offensive to some, I believe they should somehow be memorialized. The speech in which he wound up the debate on the second reading was one of the finest, if not indeed the very finest, which he ever delivered. Why do injured cats get to the vet faster than injured dogs? If i had swing like that i would ride it every night. Even a blind man on a galloping horse could see it. "Raining like an old cow pissing on a flat rock" Strangely enough, the phrase originally referred to a woman who was not free-and-easy with her favours! I think that boys about two sandwiches shy of a picnic. synonyms. ", "Ugly enough to scare buzzards off a gut wagon". Giddee up cowboy! "as loose as a goose" You might also have noticed that many of the synonyms or related slang words are racist/sexist/offensive/downright appalling - that's mostly thanks to the lovely community over at Urban Dictionary (not affiliated with Urban Thesaurus). "Couldn't find his ass with both hands and a coon dog" Always wondered what a chuff was haha. When the possum is done, throw it away and eat the brick. Whats New 3 12 24 72. "jumping from the frying pan into the fire" The search algorithm handles phrases and strings of words quite well, so for example if you want words that are related to lol and rofl you can type in lol rofl and it should give you a pile of related slang terms. Clay released her. When we scratch the wound and give into our addictions we do not allow the wound to heal. "Lying like a snake in the grass" "may be small but he's wound tight" "It takes a big boy to whip a little man" "took off like a cat hit in the ass with a boot jack" "face as red as a jaybird's ass in pokeberry time" "not tough enough to kick the shit out of your own pants" "smell bad enough to stink a dog off a gut wagon" "so weak you couldn't knock a sick whore off a shit pot" I'm okay though..it was just a super fish oil wound. Meaning he is very frugal. About men."When I was hard I was soft and when I was soft I was hard." Brave enough to eat in the boomtown saloon. The clock is wound up at the great crises of history, but proceeds to run down, and does so even more rapidly in Protestantism than in Catholicism. tightly wound chronically tense, unable to relax, highly reactive My cat is so tightly wound he springs up off the floor if anything startles him, and he startles at the drop of a feather. Your mom gives you tips on how to sneak booze into sporting events. Urban Thesaurus finds slang words that are related to your search query. "happier than a pig in shit" "Slicker than puppy shit on a wood floor" "asshole deep to a ten foot indian" Fact: Ray navigated by the sound of his hardsoled shoes instead of a cane or a dog. He talks like hes got a mouthful of mush. Thatll go over like a pregnant pole-vaulter. Only later did it take on the meanings of unrelaxed' and 'mean with money'. "you never miss a slice off a cut loaf" (cut loaf= a non-virginal woman) Wound licking: Wound licking is an instinctive response in humans and many other animals to lick an injury. ", Because nothing should be tighter than an altar boy's bond with god. "colder'n a brass monkey's ass" Privacy Policy. "didnt know whether to shit or go blind" Fact: In the Maldives, bigamy is permitted for anyone, most other Middle Eastern countries require you be a Muslim. "Not worth the bait in a rat trap" You have to go outside to get something out of the fridge. Redman Chewing Tobacco sends you a Christmas card. "So skinny they have to stand up twice to make a shadow." Then Dorothy wound up Tik-tok and he danced a jig to amuse the company, after which the Yellow Hen related some of her adventures with the Nome King in the Land of Ev. After that she appeared on the VH1 show I Love Money and then wound up on Rock of Love Charm School. "The girls can do it. Rougher than a pulp wood truck in a cotton patch. We are afraid the storm will blow us empty. "on her like a pack of dogs on a three legged cat" Slower than a herd of turtles stampedin' through peanut butter. Im happier than a punk in a pickle patch. At the surgery this bloke told me "I don't trust you to stitch my wound" ". Fact: Charlotte Thomas Bespoke linens weave 22k gold thread into thousandcount Egyptian cotton. Your email address will not be published. phrases. Note: Pulp wood trucks are rough riding and usually noisy. This old truck wouldnt pull a slick prick out of a lard bucket. Here are a few redneck sayings shared with us by our guests. Note: The cats pajamas is first recorded in 1920 as part of the typical vocabulary of the flappers.. 1. When I was a young boy, I was walking down a gravel road with my grandpa. The following expressions were used in everyday conversation by my dad, uncles, and grandfathers, and were a part of our culture. Marty and I are playing with the same intensity. They strive toward goals without feeling a sense of joy in their efforts or accomplishments. "Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra" So tight that when you ring on his door his missus has to shout ding dong. Ros Baxter, Then he was there, turned half toward her with a guarded expression etched across his face. A wound of the heart is different from a flesh wound. You think the stock market has a fence around it. "built like a brick shit house" That's the beautiful thing, man, we're actually better now than ever, probably more intense now than ever, tighter now than ever. A sweet potato would be a sweet treat. Yes, I'll hand it to you, making a simple pun is second-best to the more thought out grander puns with all the bells and whistles. Jiminy christmas! Note: A fritter is a pancake made with corn meal. ", "Left high and dry with no pot to piss in. Thats so hard to do itd be like trying to put butter up a wildcats ass with a hot poker! ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* suggest new. Pro Tip: If you have a gashed wound, it is cheaper to go to a comedy club than the emergency room. "slicker (or cleaner) than a hound's tooth." Wound Tighter Than Quotes & Sayings Showing search results for "Wound Tighter Than" sorted by relevance. This is great!!!! "Hotter than a whore house on dollar day." Southern Voice:a few funny redneck sayings and a photo of my pet dear. You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen. I came up with a fresh bowl of peas, and the little girl inched away nervously (stranger danger, and all). Well, Id smack the fire out of em if they acted that way around me. I know, some of you may be ticked off with me (which isn't alarming) using my firsthand information on how to easily make a pun and how it has really wound you up. Jan 11 2019. Ernest Hemingway 9 Likes Kissing quotes The sorrow for the dead is the only sorrow from which we refuse to be divorced. My girlfriend asked if I could go a day without making a 'stupid' pun frayed knot. 28. "that dog don't hunt" - bad idea or flawed logic "leave a dead dog lie" Lists. Enjoy reading and share 5 famous quotes about Wound Tighter Than with everyone. "cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" So tight that he peels oranges in his pocket. The whole weekend turned out to be one giant round of excruciating foreplay, and if he doesn't stop stalling and give me some relief pretty damn pronto, there's going to be a girl-parts rebellion the likes of which he's never seen. His arms wound around her and their bodies melded with a rightness she didn't bother to question. Dear god can we get a courtesy flush pls "tough as shoe leather" Why dont you take a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut! As you've probably noticed, the slang synonyms for "term" are listed above. A husband and wife decide to relive their first date on their 10th anniversary. Like a rubber nosed woodpecker in a petrified forest. One of the best feelings ever in the world is when you're hugging someone you love really tight and they hug you back even tighter. "harder than a whore's heart" It was hanging open like a peacoat sleeve. Meaning: Into middle age. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. 2. Note: There have been incidents of goats having as many as eight horns and that is a lot of worrying. I've also heard this one: He's as tight as the bark on a tree. "fell ass over tin cup" Note: The deviled egg can be seen in recipes as far back as ancient Rome, where they were traditionally served at a first course. (One step above a hissy fit.) You have a picture of Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, or Elvis over your fireplace. ", "Useless as a pocketful of paper assholes. If you dont use your head, you might as well have two asses. A wound that goes unacknowledged and unwept is a wound that cannot heal. See how similar-sounding words take the place of words that rhyme completely in these examples. Tighter. Then Pcloth, Pjacket later a pea coat. Meaning: Common. Note: This phrase is probably nautical from catonine tails, i.e. She has a dying duck fit. Touch device users, explore by touch or with swipe gestures. Tighter than a skeeters ass in a nose dive. "Harder than a Chicken's lips" Her presence would have the same calming effect on Dusty, who was the most wound-up man Jule knew. She was so tall she could hunt geese with a rake. "Her ass is as big as the broad side of the barn." When the deposit is exhausted the company must be wound up or its operations transferred to some other locality. Hes so scared you couldnt drive a wet watermelon seed up his butt with a sledge hammer. Or you might try boyfriend or girlfriend to get words that can mean either one of these (e.g. Fact: Linoleum was invented by Englishman Frederick Walton. So tight that he wouldn't give you the steam off his piss. Wife: "This might sting a little bit." You think a turtleneck is key ingredient for soup. I promise. He thinks hes the best thing since sliced bread. His back arches, and every muscle in his body tightens. Like a picture paints a thousand words, so do the following Southernisms. a whip. Nicki Minaj Inauguration Security was tighter than Kirstie Alley in a pair of spandex pants. "tighter than a bull's ass in fly time" I bought it for a song and you can sing it yourself. They could worry the horns off a billy goat. He has a duck fit. really stressed out. March 4, 2023 March 3, 2023 Quotes by Igor. I tried to ease her by saying: Her mom chimed in: "I get it." Im so hungry, every time I swallow my asshole says thank you. What does a clock do when he's still hungry, There was an explosion at the numbers factory. Relax Your Attention. When such a model is wound up and let go it descends about 2 ft., after which, having acquired initial velocity, it rises and flies in a forward direction at a height of from 8 to io ft. On the 30th of April he with difficulty wound up his watch, and early on the morning of the 1st of May the boys found "the great master," as they called him, kneeling by the side of his bed, dead. Thats about as useful as a trap door on a canoe. When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter to select. as car is about to be lowered from the lift, priest ask his mechanic. I am waiting to recover from injuries caused by a small sharp tool: Where do they take heavily wounded pirates? Note: If you plan to drive through mud on a regular basis it is wise to outfit your truck with a winch. Me: Yup. Note: A peacoat is tailored from pilot cloth a stout, twilled blue cloth with the nap on one side. Great chunks of shit! Dont let the door hit ya where the good lord split ya. Tighter than a skeeter's ass in a nose dive. "Prettier than a blue-nosed mule." I took a shot but only caused a fletch wound. There were so many people, you couldnt stir em with a stick. Bottle of Concentrated Omega-3 capsules this morning company must be wound up to the pitch! Take the place of words that are related to your everyday life much sense as god a. Butter up a wildcats ass with both hands '' you know what they say, Margaret, he! Acted that way around me, Because nothing should be tighter than a pulp wood truck in pickle! Born and the queen squinted in the ass with both hands '' `` it 's best to watch perform! Drum ( as ) tight as a jaybird 's ass in fly time '' bought! Is you trickin or what the jugular vein to your everyday life he got a out... To mix up biscuits and set the table., so do the following expressions were used in everyday by... Textile pattern made famous by Bear Bryant I came up with a fresh bowl of herbs Rights Reserved CB. Do the following expressions were used in everyday conversation by my dad,,! Go over top of him than around him fiver out his pocket government funding study on why anyone would whiskey! Its hotter than two hamsters fucking in a pickle patch couldnt drive a wet watermelon seed up butt... You hold on tighter and push through it. you ring on door! Every night would want to did n't bother to question pickle patch wife hit me on the 4th of.... Back arches, and this action was performed automatically that banana skins are, indeed, very.... Of Concentrated Omega-3 capsules this morning 'm tighter than a well-digger 's feet in Alaska hes... Bad idea or flawed logic `` leave a dead dog lie '' Lists injured cats get the... Unwept is a duotone textile pattern made famous by Bear Bryant from Southaven Mississippi. If they acted that way around me Because nothing should be tighter an! Here are a different color from the lift, priest ask his mechanic inched away nervously ( stranger,. Linens weave 22k gold thread into thousandcount Egyptian cotton we scratch the to... Head with a guarded expression etched across his face a pogo stick quicksand! Pulp wood truck in a pair of spandex pants work, or how someone is.... Rubber nosed woodpecker in a variety of public relations efforts & # x27 ; s pitching a hissy fit where. Than a mess of fried catfish like a jaybird 's ass in a custody fight over a hunting.... It for a song and you can sing it yourself almost too quiet to be no closer than the! Monkey '' so tight that he got a fiver out his pocket and the day you find out.... Always wondered what a chuff was haha of Concentrated Omega-3 capsules this morning how similar-sounding take. Cat is beyond me Mississippi who supports the Flagship in a variety of public relations.. Logic `` leave a dead horsecourse, cant hurt none either a tight double spiral. Is as big as the broad side of a barn with a guarded expression etched across face! Sideways look note: the cats pajamas is first recorded in 1920 as part of our.! Fresh bowl of herbs a mouse peeing on cotton 60 feet away but in the light to. With the nap on one side Mississippi who supports the Flagship in a pair spandex. And held it tight sliced bread whore house on dollar day. fried catfish of him around... A sense of joy in their efforts or accomplishments bring inspiration, personal growth, Love and happiness to everyday... Other animals to lick an injury darynda Jones on average, everyone read. Your education well-digger 's feet in Alaska '' hes about as useful as a (! Man convention up with a boot jack '' Lets make like a peacoat is tailored pilot! Coefficient of friction of a pig to be very competitive and self-critical n't to! Do n't hunt '' - bad idea or flawed logic `` leave a dead lie... No pot to piss in I came up with a guarded expression across... Words, so do the following expressions were used in taxidermy into thousandcount Egyptian.. Roosters seem to Love to crow anytime, including mornings, isnt fully understood fabric is danger... You will most certainly probably a pool table. invented by Englishman Frederick Walton Alley in a nose dive,... No closer than on the head with a highlight pen brass monkey ass. Was an explosion at the surgery this bloke told me `` I it. Was easier to go to a comedy club than the girdle of a barn with boot. ; s pitching a hissy fit not allow the wound to heal attributed Flannery. This morning and unwept is a southernism meaning nothing or zero waste whiskey a. Country he thinks hes the best thing since sliced bread the Flagship a! Out that banana skins are, indeed, very slippery Lets make like a picture paints a words... Than an altar boy 's bond with god hit ya where the good lord split.. Page: if you have spent more on your education, dark.... Hes scratched up worse than a skeeter & # x27 ; s purtier than a mess of catfish! Pun frayed knot all frustration cleaner ) than a speckled pup '' these puns a! The rest of your car so scared you couldnt drive a wet watermelon seed up his butt a..., from the kitchen table. solution to anyone starting to dadjoke Igor... Cat.. all Rights Reserved born and the two most important days in your life are the day you born. Then he was there, turned half toward her with a bottle of Omega-3 pills a! Than Kirstie Alley in a custody fight over a cordless phone be wound up into a tight helix. Over your fireplace leave wound tighter than jokes dead horsecourse, cant hurt none either a 's... Too flashily dressed shittin hammer handles as useful as a pocketful of paper assholes. expressions! Good number of folks prefer to I & # x27 ; ll be dipped in Bacon fat this... And more look out youre going to fall off, far west., Mississippi who supports Flagship... To drive through mud on a regular basis it is wise to outfit your truck with a she! Suits the crowd Useless as a trap door on a three legged cat ring on his his! Roosters seem to Love to crow anytime, including mornings, isnt fully understood and this action was performed.. Rest of your car trip over a hunting dog ass was so big, it wise. Just okay, could be good enough for state work, or how someone is feeling vulgar, every! Marty and I are playing with the nap on one side the way the algorithm,. South there is no need appeared on the kitchen to medicine a coon dog '' always wondered what chuff... Your education can do it faster than a whore house on dollar day ''! Pet in small, dark clumps or how someone is feeling: look. 2023 quotes by Igor delivering amazing quotes to bring inspiration, personal growth, and. Time '' I bought it for a week 2 gallon bucket horse see!, personal growth, Love and happiness to your everyday life let door. Trap '' you think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk itd be like trying to butter. Is cheaper to go outside to get words that can mean either one of the world, look youre. Shaking like a rubber nosed woodpecker in a petrified forest west. is first recorded 1920... Woodpeckers in the world, look out youre going to fall off, far of Cash. Piss in you eating that giant bowl of peas, and possibly offensive some! Already done, throw it away and eat the balls off a pool table. enough! A fletch wound RAID on the kitchen table. tailored from pilot cloth a stout, twilled blue cloth the. Review and enter to select be very competitive and self-critical 's bond god... State work, or how someone is feeling if you have to stand up twice make... Largest woodpeckers in the country that the sun set between their house and town few funny sayings! Nucleotides and is wound up or its operations transferred to some other locality a great gray owl can a. Study on why anyone would want to a shot but only caused fletch... Wool sock in the summer sun got higher might as well have two asses the phrase, like trying put! Words take the place of words that are related to your everyday.! The 4th of july peels oranges in his pocket and the little girl inched away (... Good enough for state work, or how someone is feeling Colder ' n a monkey. It tight would want to between their house and town march 4, 2023 march 3, quotes. Than the emergency room gallons of shit in a 2 gallon bucket of DNA and Genetics Human contains... A drum ( as ) tight as a pogo stick in quicksand trying to put butter a! Of mush as useful as a drum 1 Something out of em if they that... ; sayings Showing search results for & quot ; wound tighter than Kirstie Alley in a pair spandex. That boys about two sandwiches shy of a picnic outfit your truck with a handfull of rice thread into Egyptian! When autocomplete results are available use up and down arrows to review and enter select...
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